Crying it out

Is not for us. Rayce will be 9 months in a few weeks and he has yet to sleep through the night for more then a few nights in a row. You see it’s not him waking up that bothers me because usually he just eats and goes right back to sleep. It’s the fact that after I get woken up I cannot go back to sleep. For those of you who don’t already know I have had serve insomnia for quite sometime now and it takes me forever just to be able to fall asleep. Then to be woken up and have to do it all over again is just killing me. I’m not talking about it taking 30 minutes or so, I’m talking hours. It’s so frustrating. So, here is where trying the whole cry it out thing comes in. I decide I’m going to do a little research on it and then I will bring it up to Ray. He wasn’t all that thrilled on the whole idea but said he would give it a go for me. Well, night time comes and I finally get to sleep around midnight and just as soon as it seems I am dozing off, Rayce wakes up, it’s 2 am. So here we go I am determined to do this. He started to whine and whimper and I let it go on for 2 minutes and proceed to go into his room to offer him some comfort. Here is where it all goes sour because he is used to me picking him up or giving him a bottle or what have you. Well as soon as he figured out that I wasn’t there to do anything of the sort he lost it and was mad. I quietly walked out of the room and let him cry for another 3 minutes. This time Ray went in and gave it a go. He lost it and couldn’t handle the crying. He comes back to bed and says I feel like such a bad parent and he’s going to be emotionally scared. WTF who says that? I’m pissed cause I needed him to back me up on this and he had no intensions of doing such a thing. So I start to have some sort of panic attack because I’m pissed and our child is screaming and is beyond consolable. We let the crying go on for 45 minutes and finally I couldn’t take it anymore. Not to mention one of our neighbors had turned on their outside light. He was screaming that loud. So I pick him up and he was so disoriented from crying so hard that he didn’t even know where he was. He kept franticly looking around trying to figure out what was going on and it was at that moment that I decided never again. I have no idea how other parents can do this night after night. It was heart wrenching. Anyway I finally gave him a bottle and he was back to sleep in less then half an hour. Me on the other hand, ya not so much. I think I finally fell asleep sometime after 5 am. So where does this leave us now? Well, right back where we started. Hopefully the situation will fix itself sooner then later. For now please forgive me if I am a little short with you.